Tuesday, July 30, 2013

GRUNT

The Legal Aliens. The Bullpen. The Rhodies. These were all terrible band names that I was certain were amazingly badass. Then I went to the eighth grade and thought band names like, "The Cliches" and "Us Kids Know" were amazingly badass. I hope at some point I'll actually think of fitting, cool sounding band names.

Fortunately, Missoula's Grunt has done this for me. Whether you think of "Grunt" in the form of a primal vocal release, or a lowly worker, or maybe those annoying dog/alien things in Halo, it's a very appropriate moniker for these formerly Great Falls now Missoula based dudes. If I were to describe Grunt's sound to someone who was not familiar with their work, I would say that it is punk. As fuck. Does that make sense? If not, then you probably won't like them. And that's fine by them, since, as I said, they are in fact, punk. As fuck. Punk as fuck. Right.

If you want some merch.... com'en get it.

Who are you?!?
And who is you're daddy? We are a couple of fucking assholes who play terrible country funk rock which is influenced by grindcore and sludgy duck billed platypussies.
Guttural "grunt" or laborer "grunt"?
If giving labor means grunting out turds on daily basis, then we are a laborer grunt. Guttural grunt, what the fuck does that even mean. Is that some sort of mixture of a gutter punk turd and a rural midwife? 
Grunt started playing together in Great Falls, MT. What prompted the band to move to Missoula? How're y'all liking it there?
We actually started outside of a tasty freeze restaurant back in the mid dark eras, in the Renaissance festival wars of the baroque. We actually like Missoula, only because the women out here are total hipster slutbags, but besides that, its just another shithole city in which we are struggling to live. 
How many grunts does it take to write a song?
1/2 a grunt. If it took more than 1/2 a grunt then we would probably sound alot like Avenged Sevenfold, and those guys are a bunch of fucking pricks.
Brett - When I saw Grunt play, you were drumming and singing at the same time. I've always been impressed by drummers who can do that. For how many years have you been drumming?
1 year. I'm not actually a drummer, and i really don't like it. So if you know a drummer that wants to play with us, let me know, because i'm fucking ready to retire from this bullshit position.
"Hey man, we're trying to swim here! Get outta here!"

Do your songs have a specific overarching theme? If so, what is it?
Well, they do... the overarching theme to all of our songs is to laugh your ass off. People always think that when they hear they kind of shitty music we play is all about rape.
Which one of you is the cuddliest Grunt?
Wyatt, but we had to kick him out of the band, because he was obnoxiously fucking gay. One day at practice he said he had a new guitar solo for one of our songs, but instead he just dropped his pants and had a raging hardcore boner, and he shook it at us, and then fingered his asshole on the way out when we told his faggot ass to leave. But i guess that is why he is the cuddliest.
Who were your greatest musical influences as kids?
Flaming Lips. The Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Billy Ocean, Simply Red, Billy Ray Cyrus, Grunt, Daryll Duke and the Dirty Drawers, Dangling to the Side, Dr. Dre, Skrewdriver, AND THATS IT!!!!!
Finish the joke! "Grunt walks into a bar . . . . ."
AND EVERYONE LEAVES PUKING ON ONE ANOTHER. Then the best part is yet to come, when we see you at the motherfucking bar, cause you got another thing comin!!!!
....Are you nervous yet? Well, you should be, because things are gonna get wild during Grunt's stay in the Magic City. Check them out at 6 o'clock on Saturday at the Yellowstone Art Museum. They're actually on exhibit for a while there. I think they're playing a set at some point as well. 
See you at Dreyfest!

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