ARMAUND HAMMER

Some of you reading this blog might have cocked your heads slightly when you heard the name of the fest. 

“Richard Dreyfuss? Isn’t that they guy from Sideways?” 

No, that’s Paul Giamatti...I realize they both inhabit persnickety characters very well, but he’s more- 

“OH! Wait- the dude who makes the salad dressings?!” 

Uh...no, you’re thinking Paul Newman...um...no, not him. Richard Dreyf- 

“Oooohhh- you’re talking like the guy who was Nancy’s math teacher on Weeds!” 

Yeah! That’s him. 

Well, that’s a lot like how I know about Armaund Hammer. I see their name on Facebook occasionally. I know they’re from Missoula. They seem to play house shows a bit. A couple of my friends said they went to school with the singer/guitarist. Sorry, man- it’s not really ringing any bells, but I’m sure I know who you’re talking about. 

“I think your buddy Reg plays with his band sometimes too. Either that or the guy plays with Reg's band sometimes.”
Oh yeah?? Huh...I still don’t really...was he the other guy in The Forestry?
“No...you might be thinking of Adam.”

Oh...Wait, you’re not talking about the same Sam from Cut Cut Paste, are you??
“No...”
Well, shit. 

...

...Does he make salad dressings?

Maybe asking them some questions will shed some light on the subject:

I'm gonna be honest with you- I really hope this is
a photo of the right band.

Armaund Hammer are ______________ and ________________.
John Samuel Brown and Brian J.(Jay) Gardner.


Also, they are ________________ and _________________.

Johnny Spiderbags/guitarist/cook, and Jonathan Livingston Wingnut.


How long has the band been around and what has the response to your music been like, so far?

BJG: Quite some time, but I'm new.

JSB: We've been around about a month in this current configuration.


What other creative pursuits take up your time outside of the band?

JSB: I make sure people don't swear at the college radio station. That requires a lot of creativity.

BJG: I Dabble with my acoustic guitar, read, and like to hike.


I see on bandcamp that you have a couple songs that are downloadable. Do you have plans to record more in the near future?

JSB: that sounds like an offer. We will record for you, but only for 40 Canadian Treasury Bonds, Die Hard style.

BJG: What he said...


Are you named after Winklevoss portrayer Armie Hammer?

JSB: No, we're kind of like his weird younger brothers, you know, like Dawn in the 6th season of "Buffy," except male and without magical powers. We're still kleptomaniacs though.

BJG: This is JSB's band, I just beat on shit and have a good time.


Does Armaund Hammer have any brothers?

JSB: Armie Hammer

BJG: Nope, otherwise he'd be drumming.


If so, can I refer to you as “The Hammer Bros.”?

JSB: only if Armie Hammer responds to our request to join the band. We've sent him, like, 10 facebook messages already

BJG: Only if JSB shaves his beard into a mustache and dresses like Mario, unfortunately I cannot grow a mustache. I'll be Bowser. We'll end each set with JSB tripping and I'll take shots of fireball... Get where I'm going? It might be a castle.


When you’re about to get buck wild, do you announce it by proclaiming that it is “Hammer Time”?

JSB: no, but I do have to announce my alternate persona, Johnny Spiderbags. It's the gregarious, loving side of myself that can only be unleashed with alcohol, it's sole purpose being to ruin everyone with love and happiness.

BJG: If 'hammer time' is ever slurred out of my mouth it's time to take me to the hospital, I've had to much to drink.


Favorite baking soda brand:

JSB: Clabber Girl

BJG: Bah ha ha... I cannot answer this question to maintain my street credentials. It's like wearing your band shirt to your show.


Favorite television detective with the first name “Mike”:

JSB: Michael Garibaldi

BJG: No tv for me, not for at least three years


Favorite implement for driving nails into wooden surfaces:

JSB: I have a nice rock that was contoured to my hand.

BJG: Headbanging


What can Dreyfest attendees expect if they watch your set?

JSB: Bryan literally rocking the set apart, and me just kinda sweating on people as I crawl around and swing a guitar.

BJG: JSB making jokes that most of the crowd will not understand. Madness music with a drummer that cannot make eye contact with the crowd, no tomatoes please, I'm already fragile.





So, there you have it. I still have no idea who the hell I’m speaking with. (but their Green Goddess is pretty sick!!) Also, when attending Dreyfest, please ask these guys lots of questions where the most predictable answer is “Hammer”...they love it!!!

See you at Dreyfest!