Monday, August 3, 2015


If you grew up here in Billings, you probably know that Montanans tell a lot of North Dakotan jokes:

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in North Dakota? 

If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush. 

...You know, stuff like that, where North Dakotans are dumb or ugly or some other unfairly attributed undesirable trait. 

...You figure then, that when you go to North Dakota, you'd hear a lot of Montanan jokes. The weird thing is: no, they recognize that Montanans don't have bad qualities, so they just tell more North Dakotan jokes. 

(Yeah, this whole intro was a setup-and-punchline for a grand North Dakotan joke. We're bad people.)

Here's North Dakota's Crab Legs:

They're kinda smirking, but they hated that intro...


Scott: Guitar/Vocals. I actually really don't like seafood. Irony, right?
  • Mike: Bass. I'm a big fan on a spicy tuna roll. Drench that in some spicy mayo and soy sauce. Nom nom nom...
BJ: Drums. Lobster tail, always.

We heard from a guy...a really not-friendly guy...that Fargo has amazing bands coming through all the time. True/false??

A really not-friendly guy? That's concerning... Well, Scott helps run a place called the New Direction, which is an all-ages DIY space that has had some pretty solid bands come through. Someone else may think they're dogshit though, so I dunno. We're sort of out of the way for the major touring acts but a lot of the bands that we actually care about and follow take their time to come here, which rules.

What else happens in Fargo?

Alcoholism and floods. Sometimes you can hang out with a woodchipper, or eat pancake balls with Viking cosplayers. Did we mention that Fargo is 93% drunk?

I'm guessing you guys lose a lot of people to Minneapolis...what keeps you there and not running away to the "big city"?

We do, but not as much as you'd think. For us, we've all grown up in ND and been here for most of our lives. We love going on tour, seeing and spending time in big cities, but we don't think we could live in one. The cost of living here is hard to beat. We're not exactly diehard Twins/Vikings fans, but we'd all probably live at the Triple Rock or Extreme Noise if we could. Friends, and family are hard to leave. Plus, having stable jobs, and our involvement in our small yet hardworking music scene and our DIY space keep us here.

"Doug & Patty" has to be a reference about the Nickelodeon cartoon Doug, right? What's it about?

Well, Aric, the drummer that BJ replaced, wrote it. It's definitely a Doug reference. That cartoon was one of the best! We can only guess that it's an observation that Roger wrote about, in regards to youthful love and yearning, then getting your heart trampled on by a hamburger topping that's in love with a dork who wears brown cargo shorts. It could be about tacos. Who knows?

What are you guys doing with your summer (besides Richard Dreyfest)?
Our summer involves playing WhyNot Fest (in Minot, ND, on Aug. 8th), booking a couple of tours that are happening this fall, playing numerous local shows, and preparing for the release of our split LP with our friends from Texas called Not Half Bad.
That's our summer in a crab shell.

Blues or jazz?

This is honestly a very tough question. I want to say blues, because of the soul, the riffs and content, but nothing can match the feeling I get when I'm on the highway at night, listening to "Jazz Afterhours" on NPR.

Are ticks a problem out your direction? ...I was recently in central ND, and holy shit were there a ton of ticks!

Us city slickers know nothing about ticks. We're immune to them. Our crab skin is too thick. Actually that's a reason some of us haven't left this urban sprawl to go hiking this year. Burn The Ungodly Tick System To The Fucking Ground!

If your band was the crew of a spaceship, what would each of your titles and duties be?

Mike: CoPilot/Senior member of the intergalactic freestyle committee. He gets drunk with various alien races, and ushers peace agreements through rap battles. He sometimes flies the ship into asteroid belts.
Scott: Captain/Pilot. Co-founder of the Crust Punk Observatory in New Portland on Orion's Studded Belt. He makes star-maps for lost space oogles.
BJ: Navigator. He helps us get through the asteroid belts that Mike sometimes gets us into, while in search of the limited press of some skramz record that was last pressed on Jupiter in 1998.

Can me and my friends start a Crab Legs cover band called Lobster Claws?
Or Krab Legs! 'Cause it'll be an imitation! Oh shit!!!

Fucking do it! The more Lobster Feet bands, the better! Your friends could be like alternate-universe versions of the real Crab Legs members. I really hope each of you has some sweet superpowers.

Where can we learn more about Crab Legs?

Ask a punk? Your local Chinese Buffet? Actually, for trolling purposes and offers of free Taco Bell, you can find us at:

Solid, solid answers guys! Please forgive us for the North Dakotan jokes (until we see you in person and say like 12 more). Thanks for your time and...


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